Fuckk

I hate my life. So much. Shoot me. Or not, w.e imma go cry myself to sleep

Wellll yesterday

Was scary/fun. My "special" friend came over and after that we went to a lil part of the woods near pur school with some boys, and we had started a lil campfire thingy but it was day time and someone called the cops and me an my fran ran like hell. Then we covered our tracks then the boys told us the poliecman just said to put the fire out. Lol then one of them told me they were gonna get some weed and if i wanted some. Fuck i really wish i hadnt have said no. And on friday one of those boys went up to a priss and called her a bitch. I fuckin love him :-D and...ummm....idk. Oh and we got off campus back finally :-) ok well...thats it i guess

Mr.Scale i love you :-)

I thought i was still 125-130 ish and im now 121-123 my scale kinda sucks tho cuz its not electronic :p and my tummies rumblein :-) i feel amazing

Hows school?

How is it? Fuckin drama. Frirst hour is science which is borin as hell then I have pe with preppy bitches and mean boys and im the outcast. Theres like 9 of us. I hate it. Then comes algebra. Its borin to but its also the same thing everyday and no one messes with me on there so its ok. Art is 4th hour, and i have no friends in that class but i still love art. Then luch time. I always have a powerade or water. I hate eating at school. Then history which is fine then shop class then english. I like creative writing :-) but right now i am kinda pissed at myself cuz i ate an activia just a minute ago. Its 70 cals. And right now im tired and want to cuddle :( but all i have is a stuffed animal. And now i dont want to sleep cuz i just ate. Ugh. And my bestfriend moved away so now i have like no support at school. I have only one friend and i fuckin love her and some bitch was bein mean to her and called her fat. That was her "friend" who has become a preppy bitch. I just wanted to hold her and kiss her and tell her shes beautiful but i just hugged her and told her she was not fat. I love her and if that bitch says that again imma kill her. Speakin of bitches my ex was talkin to me and some preps were tryin to get outta the gym were there are two doors and they kept pushin on the on he was sittin on then that bitch made a comment and walked away then my ex said "bitch" then she came back and was all like "wat did you just call me?!?" and hes like "i just called you a bitch" i fuckin love him :) as a friend. Then she said "you better not say that again" then walked away. And shes one of those girls who wears clothes way to small for here and clumps on makeup. Shes sucha bitch :/ well imma go to bed naow. Bye. And imma try to rite on here more. Oh and im joining the fbla fccla ffa and art and drama club :)

Oh god!

Thank god! Shes not pregnant :-) even if it was positive id still love her tho :-)

When im alone

I realize that im lobely so i cry, then i eqt then i gain weight. Thats gonna stop. Im never eating again >.< oh and today i had gym second hour. With people i hate and the fuckin idiot boy infront of me kept jumpin up and PUNCHING THE FUCKING BALL!! then wen i hit it *RIVHT* and actually TRY i friggin get glares. And they purposely never hit it to me. I got it like 4-6 times. Then i heard some cunt sayin "shes not doing anything" even tho i was fucking trying. Qnd algebra SUCKSSSSSS! ugh i have a headache. Imma go cuddle with my unicorn and fall asleep. But first i have a letter to someone


Dear self,
stop eating you fucktard. Your fat and ugly and even the kds at school think so. You discusted me! I hope you die. Why do you exist? Your a worthless piece of shit. I only say this outta love tho. I will try to help you, AGAIN. god. Just dont fuck up like you always do.

Sincerly,
Me

Ps. No one reads your blog. Your not interesting. Get over it.

Hayyy

Im srry for not posting recently. School and stress has kept me hella busy. And tommorow i gotta go back >.< and yesterday all i did was babysit brats so i didnt get much of a weekend. Oh and at our school some dumbasses ruined off campus for all of us by leavin trash in the lobby. So now NO ONE can go off campus for a fuckin week. Assholes.

School

Ugh my school starts tommorow. I have science then gym >.< imma hate the first two hours of school.

Off line

I will be turnin off my ipod and fone for 3 days to have so me time

Knew it.

Im wrong. Always am. Always my fault. Im the fuck up. Im the bitch. IM the bully. God im pathetic.

Can i change schools?

Its immpossible. It really iz. Those girls at school drove me to cuttin the one of thwem had the balls to ask me why i cut infront of everyone(and they were also talkon trash about me rite behind my back). I snapped and my EXACT words after she said "do you cut yourself?" i said "yes, and if you dont shut up i'll do the same to your throat." then like 6 of them all started talkin shit and insulting me and i got so mad i actually got up and pulled some lil douche bag in a desk away so i could get at this one girl and i got all up in her face. Then she just insulted me more so i told the teacher i was goin to the bathroom then went to the counsler. I was so pissed i was shaking. Then after that, they questioned everyone(not really just those fuckin bitches and there friends) and in my journal i had earilers written my thoughts of wat will happen to th in the future. And in the end i said they would all commit suicide cuz there so pathetic. THEN once the principal read that he said that it was a threat! They twisted that lil story AND they said i said "shutup or ill slicw your throat." which i DID NOT! Yeah no but i got kicked out of school for 10 days and my mom just decided to withdrawl me. Those bitches got one detention for "talking about topics unrelated to school." and sooooo apparently im a fucking terrorist now :-/ still fuckin pisses me off tho. Oh and did i mention i was in a maijor deppresion and suocidal and they all knew it? Yeahhhhh. Good times huh? Srry for the rant. It was in 7th grade but it still pisses me off!

Fail.

Ive been tryin to fast the past two days. Not coutin tofay cuz its only 1 in The mirn. So wed. And thurs. And i failed both days. Not today tho. Wednesday i had a bowl of choco puddin at nite. Then today. (yesterday actuLly) i had a bite of corn :-/ im a failure

Fuck

Well i wake up at 4pm. I got woken up today by my mom on the fone. She yelled at me for bein lazy then said if i dont get my ass up and clean the house shes gonna take my xbox away. And she told me to clean up the pee spot my dog made but HER fucking dog pees everywere. My dogs bigger tho. Then i fuckin smashed my finger in the door. I am so fuckin pissed rite now. Fuckin hate it!

Today...

Well i got up.it feels like a long time ago but i got up, put on a smile(fake of course) and went to my school to get my paper work. Later me and my stepdad went and got a soda. Thrn i came home and fell asleep :p then i woke up and had to help with salsa and afterwards go pick corn then help shuck it. Its been a long day :-p and i fucked up my liquid fast with choco puddin cuz imma fatass. :-/ thats basically my day. My lifes so fucking exciting huh?

Productive day? I think not.

I slept till 5 :p now im just playin vid games and talking to a wonderful amazin girl :-) and my dogs lickon me :p but yeah about this girl...its not the on i hung out wit yesterday. This girl i thought was mad at me but apparently mt txts just wernt gettin thru :) that was a big relief.

....

I went to therapy today and it went well.then i hung out with my friend and we um... Started to experiment. Now the girl i truely love hates me. Well a lil bit more now. Shes hated me for a while. I mean seriously, she thinks ive really forgotten her?!? I cant mention her because it makes me want to slice my throat. It hurts so much. She just kept pushin me away. I still cry myself to sleep alot. Right now i just wanna die. Screw life.

I miss you

Alot :-( ur sick and i hate it. I miss you. And i still love you :-/

God!

Today was spent shampooing our living room.anyother day i would be fine because it burns alot of cals. But ive had like 1900 today. :-/ fuckin hate myself. Imma drink water all nite and work hard tommorow but not eat. Ill be outside in a garden. Hopefully thatll help. Idk i even rite on this. Who the fuck cares? No one. Thats right mollie, your lame.

Its hopeless

My mom just bought a shitload of food >.< ... And i want a naruto costume but its like 70$ >.< i only got 10. Omma need to babysit more. Im suck a fucking lozer :-(

Well today...

Meh. I just wanna hug :-( havent eaten all day. I feel like i dont deserve it. :-/

I hate bein alone at nite.

Thats wen all the bad stuff happens. Idk y but i wanna just fuckin blow my brains out. I dont that therapist is helpin cuz every time i go thee they bring it all back yp after i had almoat sucsefully supressed it. Fuck this shit

Just about dead.

I saw my friend today. I can never let her no how much i love her. She lives a block away from me. I fucking love her. Shes so sweet. I love wen she spends the nite cuz she always sleeps in my bed :-) shes awsome and funny and adorable. I wish she knew..,

Its all over

I wanna die

Fine.

Im just nothing. Im unloved. Im just empty. Not even my friends will talk to me. Why am I alive?

Yeah

Ill live. Im fine, i understand.

You kill me inside. Soon it maybe the outside to.

You took my heart.yes you stole it away until you found anothers. Then you broke mine and threw it away.

It hurt me more than you could ever imagine. Ever since that horrible moment ive been stuck in my own personal hell. Everyday i fake a smile for them but inside im completly fucking empty. Every nite I cry myself to sleep. I knew no one could ever fall innlove with me. You loved me yes. But you wernt in love with me. No one will ever fall in love with me. I am just fat and worthless. The only two things tha bring me joyis wen i see the scale go down. Also i love wen i can see my ribs. Its horrible but i love to see and feel the bones. The otherthing is this site. On here i am not a crazy bitch. I am human and accepted. I am not forced to conform, but encouraged to be myself. I feel like if this was a house i would never leave. Thank you all

Fuck this.

FUCK YOU TREADMILL!!

My dayyyy

Was borin :p my dog keeps fuckin fartin >.< and squeakin that damn toy :p if she wasnt so damn cute id beat her :p

No one is in love with me

Its a fact. I know im loved but no one is in love with me. They maysay they do but they dont. Its a fucking fact. Watever i dont need love. Im fine on my own. Fuck dependence. I dont need anyone :-)

Fuckfest on thin!!'

Title says it all (@_@) i love them all XD

:-)

Ladies on thin beware :-D i iz bow single :-))))

U dont even care.

Yeah sure i guess huh? Really? Fml. I fuckin am so worthless. Im also so pissed off that i cant see straight

FUCKING REALLY?!?

Break up with me for a random dude?!? Wtf?!? I love you and you do this shit. I fuckin hate life. Fuck it all. Ftw. Wats the point? Every relationship ive EVER been in im just the back up. Until they find someone else. If it dont work out then they come back and date me. Then find someone else. That happens then wen they get tired of me they just pitch me like a fucking piece of garbage. Ftw. Im done. I now have noone at all. I will never ever ever be in
a "relationship" again. I will never trust anyone ever again. She was the only one i fuckin trusted but i was just garbage to her. She doesnt fuckin care. No one fucking does >.< ftw

->.<-

Im a fucking fucktard. Binged today. I am so worthless. Fml.

Dear self,
I HATE YOU! your ugly and fat and worthless.
Go die in a hole

Wish i was that cute.

I love you...

...but do you really love me. I feel like i just love you so much but im just there if someone else rejects you :-( you love other people and want to be with them, is that true love? If he breaks up with her would you leave me again? Im sorry i love you so much. Im hopelessly in love with you. And only you. I dont even care about anyone else. I dont think you relize how much it hurts when you tell me how much you like them and want to be with them. I may laugh and joke about it but it cuts my heart a little bit more every time it happens. I hate my fucking life. I am so unlovaable. I dont deserve her, i know it, but i wish she would love me more than them.

HOW DARE YOU?!?

I will fuckin kill you! You hurt my baby girl! You dont deserve to even know her you piece of filth! I hate you and everyone else that has ever hurt her. I swear, one day...

Jess..

I love you so much. An i fucking hate that dexter prick!!!


I did like nuffin today. Nuffin funn... Yeah so.... fuck im lame

Today...

Was one of thos days that is just fuckin pointless. Hate being stuck at home during summer break :-/ got a therapy sesh tommorow so i cant spend the nite wif my g ma. Idk y i exsit. Lifes kinda stupid :-/ and yeah im on prozac but it doesnt help if im locked in a small house all day cuz my mom doesnt trust me to go ANYFUCKINGWERE!! bleh



Im done writin for today. I think imma go take a nap. Got nuffin better to do.



Ps. Samzi, yeah imfine just cranky about being stuck in this hell hole

Meh

I hate it here. I think even my girl hates me. I just wanna curl up and die. I feel so alone and rejected. Idk y i even write in this stupid fucking blog. No one cares. No one has ever cared. :-/ watever.

July 5

Today ive walked two miles and had 820 cals. Fuck :(

Umm.... :-) my girl is finally havin a good day. I love it wen shes happy :-) it seems the earth itself stops and smiles at her :-) shes wonderful and now shes learning guitar and is goin to be rich and famous and forget bout us lil people :-p maybe i shud destroy the guitar!! Haha nah. Wudnt do that. Wen im 18 me an her r gonna go on tour together :-)

thats about it fir today. Other than that playin iblivion and watchin spongebob :D

So far...

665 calories today. Im done. Im goin to do my puzzle intead. I fuckin hate bingeing >.< fml fmself! I weigh 137 rite now

I got.....

Mr. Salad i hate you! U wif ur lettuce! I hAte you! I wanna go spend the nite with my grandma cuz shes got an electronic scale. That girl that follows me want me to go get on the electronic scale.i really hate myseldf. Im so fuckin fat.



Okay so onto another topic....
Yesterday i got a mani/pedi :) it was weird tho i never did that before. Then i got a fluffy pillow and a journal. Im going to write my story day by day as it unfolds. I hope if i do it long anof then i can publish it and maybe then someone will inderstand wat is going on in my head.


.... Ummmm, oh and i got a puzzle i hope will distract me tommorow :-) its a 500 piece.

Thats all, i think. Sooooo later blog, and anyone who is reading this 0.o plz leave a comment if u do kthxbai


-Mollie

Fuck

Ive been seeing a girl every time i eat. No her names not ana. I asked her. Idk i no shes not real but i can just feel her presents or summpin. I no shes not reall but i still believe in her. Idk. Shes pissed at me rite now because i ate to much. Tommorow im fasting. I fucking hate myself. I love
my girl and my friends tho

A.b.c. Starting

Starting the abc today. Idk y i even blog :p anyone else actually readin this? Hell no. Y would you O.o

3 day binge

This has been day 3 of a binge. Im stopping rite now and fasting. Abd starting tommorow imma start tannin again.my birthday party is saturday so i need to fast for a bit. I walk a mile a day so im going to start walking two. Well im done rambaling. L8r





Ps. Im 138 now. Not 145. Also im 14 as of wednesday last week :p

Shes in the hospital

She is. Im happy shes getting help but i miss her. Im all alone now :-/ idw blog rite now bit wayeve. And i gotta go to school wed. On my BIRTDAY!!! First she gets hospitalized then i have to go to school. I cant breathe, i cant sleep, and i will not eat.

DAMMIT!!

Srry fir postin so much but my mom just said i have to go ti a party on the 25th. I HATE partys im an antisocial peraon and id i go i no they'll make me eat. I hate parties! And my mom DEMANDED that my room be clean by then. I HATE IT! Srry just pissed off right now

Today.

Today was, well, idk. I had 4 doughnuts wich was 230 calories (they were the mini doughnuts) then i walkes to the store to burn them all off. So my ner callories is like 0 right now. Not a very exciting day :-/

I fucked up. Big time

Title basically says it all. She hates me :-/

Pointless

Summer, to me is pointless. All it is is a time for everyobe else to play in the sun :p im pasty and have a rash all over me. I have decided to change all that. I have decided to tan, clear all the rash up and get a bikini. For myself and to destroy the heart of a boy who has destroyed me. I hop it works. If not ill still be happy because i shall have more self confidence :) thats all for today, imma go take a nap.

FML!

He's there. I hate him with a passion. I want to die. Why him? Why not me? FML i am so worthless.

Why?

I know you deserve better, but i just want to be selfish and steal her and have her as mine and only mine forever. I hate him because she loves him, i hate him because I know he'll end up hurting her. Love is just one big mind fuck

PrettyThin June 2011 - PrettyThin

PrettyThin June 2011 - PrettyThin

Hurt

She loves me, but she loves me not. She loves him not me. It hurts and has shattered my already fragile heart. No matter what i will always love you, my beauty.

This is the begininng

This is my blog. I just thought i would introduce myself. I am... Well ill just call myself chapstick. Its easier that way. Maybe i get comfortable ill say my real name, but for now its chapstick. Okay now, a bit about my life. Im almost 14. Ive had a weird life in the begining but its calmed down a bit. Its still pretty f***** up tho. I live at home wif my brother( the antisocial computer nerd who lives in the basement) my mother ( the woman i live but trys to control my life!and never gives me privacy) my stepdad (good dude, kindof a temper but is mostly ok) and of couse the stepbrothers (stepmonkeys. They hate me i hate them. The end.) and two dogs. I have anger issues and got kicked outta school 3 times in two years. (Ill touch more on that later) i also have severe deppresion and i hate food. Im wayyyyy to fat and im trying desperatly to lose weight. My dads an alcholic and was mentally and emotionally abusive. My parents divored wen i was two. I loe animal and im a vegitarian. Dont fuck with me and i wont break your face :) im nice if your nice yo me :)


Ps. I SUCK at spelling :p